Do you often find yourself gazing skyward, captivated by the sound of jet engines? Does the sight of an airport fill you with giddy excitement? If so, you might have caught a case of Aviation Virus or its equally contagious cousin, Aviationpox.
But don’t worry! This is one infection you’ll never want to cure. Read on to check your symptoms and see how many boxes you tick:
Symptoms of Aviation Virus/Aviationpox
- Skyward Gaze Syndrome
- You crane your neck at the sound of every passing airplane.
- You’ve tripped over things while trying to track airplanes in the sky.
- Airplane Spotting Fever
- You know the best spots to catch airplanes taking off and landing.
- Your idea of a perfect picnic involves binoculars, a camera, and a runway nearby.
- Window Seat Obsession
- You’d fight for a window seat on flights – who cares about legroom?
- Your Instagram feed is 90% wing shots and clouds.
- Aviation Media Addiction
- You’re in more aviation groups than your smartphone can handle.
- Watching airplane videos is your favorite pastime.
- Airport Excitement Disorder
- The sight of a terminal makes your heart skip a beat.
- You prefer hanging out by airport windows instead of shopping duty-free.
- Aircraft Recognition Compulsion
- You can ID airplanes by their engines, shapes, or even their shadows.
- You know the Boeing-Airbus rivalry better than most sports rivalries.
- Model Airplane Hoarding
- Model airplanes are slowly taking over your home.
- You’ve bought shelves specifically for your collection.
- Aviation Jargon Fluency
- “Cleared for takeoff” casually makes its way into your daily conversations.
- You could probably recite the safety demo better than the flight crew.
- Pilot Dreams
- You’ve seriously considered getting a pilot’s license.
- Flight simulators count as stress relief.
- Aviation Event Wanderlust
- Airshows and aviation museums top your vacation itinerary.
- Your bucket list involves visiting every major airport on the planet.
Aviator’s Ailments:
Some cases of Aviation Virus evolve into these hilarious and highly specialized conditions:
- Contrail Cough
- You leave imaginary white streaks in your wake.
- Jet Lag Jitters
- You daydream about switching time zones every 12 hours.
- Runway Rash
- You can’t resist wide, straight roads and open spaces.
- Propeller Pox
- You occasionally spin your arms in circles for no apparent reason.
- Altimeter Ague
- You check your elevation compulsively – even at sea level.
- Cockpit Fever
- Front seats are a must, whether it’s a car, bus, or airplane.
- Aileron Ache
- You subconsciously tilt your body when turning.
- Fuselage Flu
- Cylindrical objects suddenly feel comforting.
- Avgas Addiction
- The smell of aviation fuel is your favorite scent.
- Flap Frenzy
- You find yourself mimicking the motion of flaps during descent.
- Yoke Yips
- Everything you touch becomes a makeshift flight control.
Your Diagnosis?
If you’ve nodded along to most of these symptoms, congratulations! You’re officially a proud victim of an Aviation Virus. There’s no known cure – and honestly, would you even want one?
Now it’s your turn! What are some other “Aviation Virus” symptoms or funny flight-related conditions we’ve missed? Drop your ideas in the comments and let’s keep this “contagion” spreading!
The sky’s the limit – or is it? ✈️
